IS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT POSSIBLE?

For most of us, love is something that is earned over time as we get to know someone and get more used to their being around. We fall in love as a result of spending time with someone and enjoying blissful days out and frolics in the sun, and as we learn that their beliefs, their sense of humour and their interests are all compatible with ours. This all seems like something that you couldn't possibly know just by seeing someone, so how is it possible to say that you might be in love with someone who has walked past you in a bar?

Well while it might seem unlikely and more likely to be lust or attraction, it is certainly possible that you might feel like you feel something stronger and some of this might be to do with genetics. For instance it is possible to tell unconsciously through smelling pheromones whether someone is a good genetic match for us or not. Perhaps then something like this could play a part and it might in fact be love at first smell.

At the same time you might find that their looks are particularly attractive to you in a way that seems more powerful than the way you fancy your favourite celebrity. This could again be due to genetic clues in their face and body. It is said for instance that we feel a more powerful attraction to someone who looks like we do and this again suggests that they are genetically compatible with us, and also that they might be more similar to us in other ways, perhaps shared interests or similar personality traits. Whether this is a basis for 'love' or just a much more powerful attraction is open to debate.

Then there's the fact that we actually can tell a lot more about someone from their initial appearance than we think, about their personality, their lifestyle, what they enjoy doing etc. For instance when you first see that person you are likely to see them doing something or other. It might be that they are joking and laughing with friends and seem to be great fun to be around on this basis, you might see them drinking a drink that you yourself enjoy too, or you might see them helping a wounded bird (if you happen to be living in a fairytale). This tells you immediately a bit about them. You can tell too things about someone from their clothes, and these can suggest a personal style that in itself reflects personality, as well as showing you whether they're confident or quiet etc and making them more attractive if they happen to be in great shoes and you have a shoe fetish. It all adds up to a complete picture that may or may not be highly attractive to you and that tells you an awful lot about a person.

Again, whether all this can possibly equate to genuine mean love is a heavy question and people's interpretations of love are all different anyway. Some people claim to genuinely be in 'love' with animals and even inanimate objects, 

but defining love is an article for another day

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DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

Long distance relationships are hard as stone. there are some pretty great things about them, unlimited alone time, not having to fight for space, being able to go out with your friends all the time without anyone getting upset, but on the whole, being thousands of miles apart kind of blows. And whether you feel like acknowledging it or not, distance has a definite impact on the dynamics of a relationship.

A serious long distance relationship, I’m pretty sure, is not the same as having a long distance crush. When you have a long distance crush, everything’s new. It’s exciting. You’re getting to know someone over the only modes of communication you have and it’s the biggest emotional tease, really, because the possibility of anything is wide open. Maybe you’ll meet them, maybe you won’t. Maybe it will be idyllic like it is in the movies or maybe it’ll be a horrendous disaster. Maybe you’ll end up getting that brownstone in Greenwich Village and live out your bohemian fantasy together or maybe you’ll realize upon meeting that you actually hate each other. You never know.

when you’re trying to make something that already exists, something with arms and legs, legitimately work long distance, it’s difficult. It’s difficult because you have the best and worst of both worlds, all the freedom of being single and none of the fun, all the comfort of being in a relationship and none of the contact. It’s like you already have a large part of your life figured out but it’s mysteriously nowhere to be found, and when you think about it, that’s probably one of the weirdest feelings you’ll ever get.

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